


Daft Punk and the Daft Table

by sassmyass



Category: Daft Punk
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 18:00:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1559144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassmyass/pseuds/sassmyass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A heartbreaking dialogue fic about how the purchase of a blue table dramatically affects the lives of these two companions, bringing them to their demise. Watch them experience all the ups and downs of life in only a short period of time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daft Punk and the Daft Table

**Author's Note:**

> There's a lot of awful French in here, but power through it and ignore the bad grammar. Le table is also pronounced like you would pronounce table in English, not the French table because that would make a completely different story.

“Look at le table.”

“What table?”

“Le table bleu.”

“Should nous achetons le table?”

“Oui, nous should achetons le table.”

“I aime le table.”

“Moi aussi.”

“It’s a beau table.”

“As beau as un table could be.”

“Shall we serve nouriture on le table?”

“Non, it will be très bizarre to serve nouriture on cet table.”

“Mais il est un table!”

“Oui oui.”

“Hon hon hon.”

“Baguette.”

“On le table?”

“Non, on le sofa.”

“Tu veux to put une baguette on le sofa?”

“Non non non, je veux to put un mourceux de baguette on le sofa.”

“Pourquoi?”

“Because je l’aime.”

“Tu es kinky.”

“Non. J’aime les baguettes.”

“Je veux manger les baguettes on le table.”

“Mais non, nous cannot mange if nous have nôtre robot helmets on.”

“C’est vrai!”

“Mais si nous take them off nous pouvons manger.”

“Then nous will take them off to mange.”

“Mais nous sommes on stage.”

“Then pourquoi is le table on stage?”

“Then nous should move le table off the stage and mange les baguettes.”

“Mais nous n’avons pas les baguettes!”

“Well nous need beaucoup de baguettes.”

“Non non non, only une baguette.”

“Pourquoi only une baguette?”

“Parce que je ne pas hungry.”

“Then pourquoi did nous achetons le table?”

“Parce que nous needed le table to place nôtre robot helmets on.”

“Mais cet table is for mangeing on.”

“Non, cet table is pour robot helmets. Le label says ‘pour helmets de robots.’”

“Vraiment??? Je ne pas saw le label!”

“Then tu shouldn’t have achète le table.”

“Je take off mon clothes et lay on le table.”

“Mais non! Le label says ‘non naked personnes on le table.’”

“C’est impossible! Je read le label et it says ‘Beaucoup de naked personnes on le table.’”

“Tu es stupide! If naked personnes were allowed on le table, où would nous put nôtre helmets?”

“On nôtre têtes, you piece of merde.”

“Mais je cannot see out of this fucking thing.”

*gasp*

“Then nous will achète une chair pour les helmets.”

“Only une chair? Comment will they fit?”

“Avec une grande chair!”

“How grande?”

“Hella grande.”

“Pourquoi are nous fighting? Le table was meant to bring nous together, not tear nous apart!”

“Mais tu fairs this un grand deal. Le table was supposed to fais nous stronger, to hold nous up when nous were down. Then tu went and put nôtre helmets on it. They shouldn’t être un part of this. They might être part of who nous sommes, mais nous need a life outside of helmets. Nous need a break.”

“Voir at all these personnes! Ils are waiting pour nous avec nôtre helmets! Les helmets are us! Oublier le table. Fais it pour the personnes!”

“Non! Je ne will pas live mon life pour les personnes! Je will be un free man!”

“Attendre! Do tu hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“Do you hear the people sing?”

“Sing what?”

“Le songs of angry men.”

The robots go quiet as they hear the rise of the people. “Hon hon hon. Hon hon hon. HON HON HON. HON HON HON!” Thousands of baguettes are hurtled at the stage. Slowly, the robots and their furniture are drowned in baguettes, as you hear their last words, “Vive France!”

LA FIN


End file.
